


知己

by schnaf



Series: im-prompt-u challenge [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, i couldn't get 'lifelong confidant' out of my head, need to slightly change a prompt, sometimes you just
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:01:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26758414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schnaf/pseuds/schnaf
Summary: 知己 - zhiji: the one who knows me. soulmate. confidant.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: im-prompt-u challenge [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1969618
Comments: 12
Kudos: 38
Collections: Im-PROMPT-u Phandom Creator Challenge 2020





	知己

**Author's Note:**

> this is my contribution for the first day of the im-prompt-u challenge \o/ prompt: confidence

_知己 - zhiji: the one who knows me. soulmate. confidant._

"You are my confidant."

Eleven years. It's been eleven years and still -

Dan can be quite a poet sometimes. Usually Phil only calls him a poet to poke fun at him, when Dan starts to feel bad about writing his book or when he says some pretentious bullshit. But he acknowledges that Dan is actually a poet sometimes, that Dan actually is able to find the right words, the words that describe his feelings in a way that leaves Phil in awe. That's not always the case, oh no, not at all, he talks way too much shit to be a full-time poet, he has the habit of blurting out the most inappropriate stuff. But in moments like that...

It's not even a special moment. It's just them standing in the kitchen, Phil unloading the dishwasher, Dan cutting up some vegetables for their dinner. And yet, it just takes this one sentence to make Phil's knees go weak.

"You are my confidant."

Later that evening, Dan elaborates. They're sitting on their balcony, on a blanket, pretending to watch the stars but like almost every night, the sky has a more orange tinge than black, the sky is covered in some formless billow rather than in stars. Still, it's nice to be out here, still, it's something they do every now and then, just lying on the blanket next to each other, talking about whatever crosses their minds.

And it's just what Dan does, out of the blue. Taking off where he stopped before. Elaborating.

"You are my confidant, Phil."

Phil turns his head, he watches Dan. Dan on the other hand... He gazes upwards, seeming like he's still trying to find some stars but Phil can tell he's lost in thoughts. Lost in thoughts he's willing to share and Phil enjoys just listening to him, feeling the fresh night breeze on his skin, looking at his boyfriend, at his pretty, thoughtful face, accompanying him on his journey.

"I - I trust you. I confide in you. You _know_ me." Dan's voice, so strong at the 'know' part, drifts away into the darkness, he follows it up with a little hum. "And I know you. I know you like I know nobody else. I know you like I know myself. I -"

Phil closes his eyes.

Eleven years. It's been eleven years and still, Dan manages to make him feel this way. So giddy, so excited, so overwhelmed, so -

He takes a deep breath, but he can't stop smiling. Well, he doesn't need to, there's absolutely no need to - not because Dan isn't even looking at him but because it's okay. It's okay even now when Dan turns his head too, looking at him, smiling at him too. And his soft smile, his warm smile, all the words that stay unspoken in this moment but are clearly visible in his eyes... Dan knows how he makes him feel.

Yet, he is not done. Dan takes his hand, their fingers intertwine all on their own - it's some kind of reflex by now, something Phil doesn't even have to think about anymore, it just happens organically.

Dan's voice turns into a murmur, almost as if he's afraid of speaking out loud because his words are simply too big, too - "Sometimes, when I look at you, it feels like I'm looking into a mirror. I see myself in you. And I see you in myself. You just - know me so well."

The leaves of the trees surrounding their house are rustling in the light breeze. You can hear the monotone rush of cars passing by, regardless of the hour of the day. And yet, it feels all quiet as Dan whispers to him. "And maybe, that's the best thing that could ever happen to me. To have someone who doesn’t just love me, but - someone who knows me."

He squeezes his hands, their fingers still intertwined.

"To have a confidant."


End file.
